i am not
in this road
way too many
bumps and holes
i can feel each
the ups and downs
and my heart pounds
it’s the music
the drum beat
that rule my chest
drive my blood
dictate my dance
and i keep
around burning stars
drawn on my arms
They’re right behind us
Always chasing, always hunting
“I’m getting tired”, you said
So let’s hide between the stars
Climbing through the clouds
We’ll go so high up in the skies
That they won’t ever find us
No one will ever hurt you
I will throw away my fear of heights
And you, the need of pretending
That things are alright
We’ll hide in such a safe place
That they won’t be able to cause us any harm
And everyday will be spent
Contemplating the sky
Now we’re in such a good place
That suddenly what’s past is past
Our tears are already dry
And scars are just scars
The celestial bodies light our path
Just like on ancient times
Sun and stars
Side by side
Pieces of the past
Bad and good ones
Will start to disappear
We’ll cheer and we’ll feast
Glasses of poison
Castles of sand
Reality is an illusion
So I say
Let it be
I’ll make this reality
The most beautiful dream
This land has ever seen
Once upon a time
We’ve got to escape drowning
In order to fly
my heart, it feels as if it’s going to burst
this pain, this ache, born from the doubt
fed with the noise from the outside world
that screams none of this is enough
and that i have lived less than I should
the city that surrounds me, it bores me
it’s noisy, lonely and grey
and on its tall building walls
i see my whole history written in faded paint
the nights always look the same
the stars haven’t shown any change
and the sun outside my window
it has started to set after another identical day
a new accomplishment to be grateful for
another goal to set my eyes on
that’s all i had believe to need
this is what i have been hungry for
but that’s not what is going to soothe
the addiction i have for being happy all the time
this stupid need for always being right
the thrilling feeling whenever i said for sure
that i was no more sick, that my mind was alright
I’m afraid of being who I am.
I’m afraid that the day I show my true colors people will reject me.
I want to paint my hair pink and tattoo a chamomile flower on my wrist because it’ll help me remember life’s beautiful and anxiety is smaller than me.
I want to lose myself on the streets I choose freely without caring about who I might encounter. I want to no longer be obliged to give explanations or be afraid of misunderstandings.
I’ve always lived as if I wasn’t allowed to make mistakes. But I am. I am human, I fail. The people who judge me do it too.
If they are no gods, who are they to tell me what to do?
They tell me to toss my mask, they say I’m a fake. However once I do it, will they deal with the beast inside me? How are they supposed to understand it when I, the one who’s slept with it every night, have never been really able to?
Maybe this beast isn’t a monster, maybe it’s not even bad.
What if it’s in reality my natural state? I need to release it if that’s the case.
Won’t you let me live? I don’t remember having to ask permission in order to breathe.
If I say I’ll pay the price, will you finally let me go?
I’m packing my things, you giving me a yes or a no.